Adultery

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret (Ephesians 5:11-12);

For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment (2 Peter 2:4) …For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? (1 Peter 4:17);

You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14);

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).

This is the third blog of a series that deals with SEXUAL SINS in the Church which grieves, quenches and vexes the Holy Spirit. (Isaiah 63:10; Ephesians 4:30; 1 Thessalonians 5:19).

Brothers and Sisters, just as Jesus cleaned His Father’s House which had become defiled (John 2:13-16), GOD WANTS HIS HOUSE TODAY TO BE HOLY, NOT DEFILED!  We all know the story.  Jesus went to Jerusalem and found in the Temple those that sold oxen, sheep and doves, and the moneychangers sat among them.  The Temple, which was God’s House of Prayer, had become a “den of thieves.”  After making a whip of cords, Jesus drove every person and animal out of the temple, poured out the changers’ money and overthrew the tables!  In other words, JESUS WAS ANGRY at those that made His Father’s House a house of merchandise.  This passage of Scripture is a type of “Deliverance Ministry” today because GOD WANTS HIS TEMPLES CLEAN AND HOLY, NOT DEFILED!  I am not talking about the exterior and interior condition and appearance of church buildings which can be spruced up by applying a fresh coat of paint or new siding.  I am referring to the spiritual condition of EVERY BELIEVER who professes to be a “born again” Christian.  AFTER ALL, THE BODY OF EVERY BELIEVER IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT! (Matthew 21:12; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

If your SPIRIT has been regenerated (“born again”) by the Power of The Holy Spirit, it belongs to God and The Holy Spirit indwells your BODY.  It is through the SPIRIT of man that God communicates with every Believer.  God does not communicate with Believers through their SOUL because He does not live in the psychical realm.  God does not communicate through the BODY because He does not live in the physical realm.  God is a SPIRIT (John 4:24) and since you and I were created in His likeness, we also are spirit beings.  When the Holy Spirit speaks, He speaks to your SPIRIT.  When you speak in your heavenly prayer language (tongues), your SPIRIT speaks mysteries to God (1 Corinthians 14:2).  Your SPIRIT and SOUL are interconnected (Hebrews 4:12).  Together, they comprise the “real you.”  Your BODY is nothing more than a temporary holding tank that houses your SPIRIT and SOUL. 

As explained in a previous post, the SOUL (the seat of the mind, will, emotions) and the BODY are not regenerated by The Holy Spirit when a Believer is “born again” spiritually.  The BODY is corruptible and mortal.  Upon physical death, it decomposes and returns to dust.  The SOUL and SPIRIT, however, are immortal and live on in eternity, either in Heaven or in Hell.  THEREFORE, EVERY BELIEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING SURE HIS SOUL AND BODY ARE FOUND BLAMELESS. 

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole SPIRIT and SOUL and BODY be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23).  [EMPHASIS ADDED]

If you are a “born again” Christian, what is the condition of your BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT?  Are they submitted to The Holy Spirit’s control?  Is your SPIRIT the strongest of your three components?  Considering that The Holy Spirit is in constant communication with your SPRIIT, and vice-versa, it is imperative that this vital line of two-way communication remain open and undeterred.  When a Believer’s SPIRIT is strong and submitted to The Holy Spirit, it sits on the throne and REIGNS and RULES over your SOUL and BODY, keeping them in submission to The Holy Spirit.  When your SPIRIT is weak, however, it is dethroned and ruled by your SOUL and BODY.  When this happens, a Believer becomes carnal, fleshly and worldly.  The Bible says that no good thing dwells in the flesh (Romans 7:18) and that the carnal mind is enmity against God (Romans 8:7).  The Bible also says that a friend of the world is an enemy of God (James 4:4).  Are your SOUL and BODY submitted to your SPIRIT, which is submitted to and controlled by The Holy Spirit?  If so, your vessel (temple) is HOLY.  If your SPIRIT is the weakest component, however, your temple is DEFILED and in need of deliverance!  Jesus wants to drive out every devil that is defiling your SOUL and BODY, but before He can act, He needs your consent and cooperation!

How can an UNBELIEVER know whether he will go to Heaven or to Hell?  The answer is simple.  All he has to do is ask himself the following question:  “If Jesus knocks on the door of my heart today, will I invite Him in, or will I slam the door in His face because I’m not willing to let go of my sinful ways?”

How can a BELIEVER be confident that his SPIRIT, SOUL and BODY will be found blameless at any given moment?  EVERY DAY, he should give himself a checkup from the neck up by asking himself the following question:  “If the Lord knocked on the door of my house right now, would I readily invite Him in, or slam the door in His face because there are “accursed things” inside that I don’t want Him to see?” … as if He does not see them already!  (An accursed thing would include porn magazines/videos and sex toys; occult- or horror-related books/videos, etc.)

Allow me to paint a picture on the canvas of your mind.  From the standpoint of your SOUL (mind, will, thoughts, imaginations and emotions), what does the Holy Spirit see when He examines it?  Does He see a background of solid WHITE which represents HOLINESS & PURITY?  If so, I commend you for living a consecrated, holy and obedient life before the Lord! 

On the flip side, does the Holy Spirit see a background of WHITE that is blemished by spots of BLACK that represent areas of WILFULL SIN in your life?  If so, it is time to CLEAN HOUSE!  It is far better for you to clean your WHOLE HOUSE today, than have your SOUL and SPIRIT spend eternity in Hell!

And fear not them which kill the BODY, but are not able to kill the SOUL: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both SOUL and BODY in hell (Matthew 10:28);

And if your eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from you: it is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire (Matthew 18:9).

Today’s blog deals specifically with the SIN OF ADULTERY in the Church.  As a collective whole, the Body of Christ is powerless and sin-laden, thanks to the fact that Satan has gradually and relentlessly desensitized people (including Christians) to SIN!  As a result, society has come to accept and condone adultery rather than condemn and judge it, as God does.

THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF ADULTERY

Physical (BODY)

A sexual act committed outside of a marital relationship and against the marriage and one’s spouse (John 8:4).

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).

Emotional (SOUL)

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28).

This Scripture communicates LOUD and CLEAR that adultery can take place within the heart (SOUL) and is just as sinful as the physical act.  Although not as detrimental to others, emotional adultery is still a sinful affront to the HOLINESS of God.  The act of viewing pornography is claimed to be a harmless, victimless offense; however, the damage it does to the SOUL is just as devastating.  Pornography and adultery often go hand-in-hand.  

Spiritual (SPIRIT)

While physical adultery is “sexual,” spiritual adultery is “sensual” and manifested in the request for Signs, Wonders, and Miracles by religious hypocrites.  It was committed by the Pharisees and Sadduccees and is still being committed by religious hypocrites today.  Hypocrites try to get into the Kingdom by works, not by repentance (Faith).  In other words, they refuse to DIE TO THE WORLD (Fleshly Works of The Law).  Their intent is to enter the Kingdom of God through Works of Law.  Since they have not become DEAD to the Law, they are in effect initiating a Divorce because their spouse has NOT died.  Because they attempt to enter the Kingdom (join themselves to the Church Body), they are NOT DEAD to the LAW and are therefore, Adulterers.  Believers who have DIED TO THE WORLD (The Law of Works) and are “born again” can be engaged, betrothed and espoused to Christ.

To summarize, Spiritual Adultery is committed by UNBELIEVERS and is ALWAYS of the Flesh.  There may seem to be a contradiction of terms by calling it “SPIRITUAL” Adultery, but it is Spiritual in the sense that Believers are required to know and understand it.  The fact that its existence and practice has a profound effect upon the Church, explains why there are so many warnings in the epistles about NOT committing fornication, which I will discuss in a separate teaching.

Again, Spiritual Adultery is committed by UNBELIEVERS (not “born again” Believers), who have developed a SENSUAL RELATIONSHIP with Christ's Body (the Church) through Signs, Wonders, and Miracles. Any such relationship is illicit, immoral, is called Adultery, and is based on and executed in Hypocrisy.

“Born Again” Believers are never referenced as having committed ADULTERY when it is of a spiritual nature.  Can Believers commit adultery in the physical sense? Yes indeed and this is condemned in both the Old and New Testaments.

Since an Unbeliever is NOT “born again,” everything they do and say is of the Flesh.  Therefore, any Unbeliever’s relationship with Christ’s Body can only be SENSUAL and ADULTEROUS.

But He [Jesus] answered and said to them, An EVIL and ADULTEROUS generation seeks after a SIGN, and no SIGN will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah (Matthew 12:39).  [Emphasis Mine];

[Jesus is Speaking:]  A WICKED and ADULTEROUS generation seeks after a SIGN, and NO SIGN shall be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.  And He left them and departed (Matthew 16:4).  [Emphasis Mine]

THE DICTIONARY’S DEFINITION OF PHYSICAL ADULTERY

Merriam-Webster defines adultery as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife, or between a married woman and someone other than her husband. In other words, it is having sex with someone who is not your spouse.  

Adultery is also known as Infidelity and is used interchangeably with terms like Cheating, Extramarital Sex or Having an Affair.

THE BIBLICAL DEFINITIONS OF PHYSICAL ADULTERY

The Biblical definition of adultery is a sexual act committed outside of a marital relationship and against the marriage and one’s spouse (John 8:4).

The definitions of physical adultery for a MAN are:

Remarriage by a man who has divorced his wife for any reason other than “fornication” in the marriage relationship (Matthew 19:9);

Marriage to a divorced woman, whose first husband is still alive (Matthew 5:32; 19:9);

Any sexual union with another man's wife (Leviticus 20:10).

The definition of physical adultery for a MARRIED man is:

Sexual union with any woman other than his own lawful wife in the sight of a Holy God who knows and sees everything.  When a married man commits adultery, he is committing a SIN against his wife (Mark 10:11) and against his own flesh, because he is one flesh with his wife.  

The definition of physical adultery for a SINGLE man is:

Sexual union with a woman who is betrothed to another man (Deuteronomy 22:23-24), or has been divorced by another man, who is still alive:

“whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32);

“whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9).

The definitions of physical adultery for a WOMAN are:

Remarriage by a woman who has been divorced from her husband for any reason other than “fornication” in the marriage relationship (Matthew 5:32; Mark 10:12);

Any sexual union by a married woman with another man other than her own lawful husband (Leviticus 20:10).

The definition of physical adultery for a MARRIED woman is:

Sexual union with any man other than her own lawful husband in the sight of a Holy God who knows and sees everything.  When a married woman commits adultery, she is committing a SIN against her husband (Mark 10:11) and against her own flesh, because she is one flesh with her husband. 

THE HISTORY OF ADULTERY

Adultery has been around since Abraham and Jacob, the first recorded husbands to be unfaithful to their wives.  Later, God recorded his position on adultery in the Seventh Commandment, “Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery” (Exodus 20:14).  Throughout Biblical history, even God’s chosen servants fell victim to adultery, including King David, who cheated on his wife with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12).  As a result, David lost the first son he produced with Bathsheba, and he personally suffered emotionally and spiritually because he had failed God.

Divorce has always been a subject in literature, including the writings of Shakespeare.  Several centuries ago, it was even punishable by death in some countries.  Since Satan has managed to desensitize people to the fact that adultery is a “Ten Commandments” SIN, infidelity is taken more lightly in modern America; however, it is still a serious offense in the Middle East and Asia.

THE HISTORY OF ADULTERY

ACCORDING TO THE HOLY BIBLE

Under the Old Covenant, God viewed adultery as a SIN that was punishable by DEATH! (Leviticus 20:10).  When God set apart a nation to be His special people, He gave them a set of basic guidelines for living.  They were the foundation for all other laws that He would give them.  These laws were a written record of the way God expects His people to behave.  The seventh commandment that God gave His people was, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).  God knew that every human heart was “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9) and would seek opportunities to fulfill its every desire.  Since God gave these laws to make His HOLY STANDARDS clear, we should remember the penalties and punishments that He assigned to His “chosen people.”

DAVID & BATHSHEBA:

A BIBLICAL CASE STUDY OF ADULTERY

Read 2 Samuel chapters 11-12 which tells the story of how Israel’s King David, whom God called, ‘a man after My own heart’ (Acts 13:22; 1 Samuel 13:14), committed adultery.  Many lessons can be learned from this story.

ADULTERERS AS DESCRIBED IN THE BIBLE

Adulterers are friends of the world (James 4:4);

Adulterers reap a wound and dishonor (Proverbs 6:33);

Adulterers spend their substances on harlots (Proverbs 29:3);

Adulterers will be judged by God (Hebrews 13:4);

Adulterers will not inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19);

Adultery begins with lust and covetousness (Proverbs 6:25; Matthew 5:28);

Adultery is a condition of the heart (SOUL) (Matthew 15:19; Mark 7:21);

Adultery is the Seventh of God’s “Ten Commandments” (Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:27);

An adulterous woman is described (Proverbs 30:20; 6:26; 22:14);

Avoiding Adultery is Wisdom (Proverbs 5);

He who commits adultery destroys his own SOUL (Proverbs 6:32);

He who commits adultery lacks understanding (Proverbs 6:32);

He who is joined to a harlot is one body (1 Corinthians 6:16).

BIBLICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF

A WHORISH WOMAN

My son keep your father's commandment, and forsake not the law of your mother: Bind them continually upon your heart, and tie them about your neck. When you go, it shall lead you; when you sleep, it shall keep you; and when you awake, it shall talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in your heart; neither let her take you with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goes in to his neighbor's wife; whosoever touches her shall not be innocent. Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry; But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house. But whoso commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding: he that does it destroys his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away (Proverbs 6:20-33).

That they may keep you from the strange woman, from the stranger which flatters with her words. For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lies in wait at every corner.) So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said to him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I paid my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He has taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed. With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goes after her straightway, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hastes to the snare, and knows not that it is for his life. Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she has cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death (Proverbs 7:5-27).

STATISTICS REVEAL

THE PREVALENCE OF ADULTERY!

ADULTERY CONTINUES TO GROW AT AN ALARMING RATE!  According to a CNN/Times poll, most Americans polled believe that adultery is morally wrong, and worse than prostitution or teen sex.  Ironically, 69% of those polled knew men who were in adulterous affairs, while 60% of the women polled said they knew of women who were in adulterous relationships!

In addition:

2% to 3% of all children are the product of infidelity and most are unknowingly raised by men who are not their biological fathers;

17% of men and women admit to emotional or physical infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law;

31% of marriages last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered;

36% of men and women admit to committing infidelity on business trips;

36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker;

41% of marriages where one or both spouses admit to either physical or emotional infidelity;

53% of marriages in America end in divorce;

54% of women admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had;

57% of men admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had;

68% of women say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught;

74% of men say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught;

There is more!

Almost everyone admits to having fantasies of someone other than a spouse.  An Unbeliever entertains those fantasies and commits emotional adultery; A true Believer avoids this temptation by doing The Word and practicing 2 Corinthians 5:10;

As more and more women enter the work force, “office romances” are becoming more prevalent.  Spouses often spend more time with coworkers than with each other.

Emotional infidelity, compared to just physical infidelity, can inflict as much, if not more, hurt, pain and suffering.  To make matters worse, most infidelity involves both physical and emotional betrayal;

From a Biblical standpoint, marital faithfulness is easily achieved when both spouses are “born again” Christians that obey the Word of God and that are submitted to the Holy Spirit;

From a secular standpoint, biological evidence indicates that long-term monogamy is difficult to achieve;

In many cases, infidelity never gets discovered; however, God sees everything and in the end, His vantage point is what counts;

In the United States alone, a conservative and rough estimate of 30% to 60% of all married individuals will be unfaithful at some point during their marriage;

Infidelity is becoming more common among people under the age of 30;

Medical fields that have the highest divorce rate:  psychiatrists and marriage counselors!

Men are more likely to cheat than women; however, as women become more financially independent, they are beginning to act more like men with respect to infidelity;

“Signs of cheating" are noticeable if you know what to look for (see section heading titled, “CLASSIC SIGNS THAT YOUR SPOUSE MAY BE COMMITTING ADULTERY);

The average length of an affair is 2 years;

The initial decision to be unfaithful is rarely ever a rational choice; it is based on circumstances, emotion and opportunity;

The internet, e-mail, and chat rooms are making it easier for people to engage in adultery;

Unfortunately for the victimized spouse, many people find a more suitable mate (someone they love more than their spouse) after they are already married.

ADULTERY IS DESTRUCTIVE TO EVERYONE!

Adultery is NOT a harmless, victimless SIN!  From a physical, emotional and spiritual standpoint, adultery’s killing fields are littered with a multitude of bruised, diseased and wounded casualties!  These fields are RIPE for the harvest and Jesus wants to DELIVER, HEAL and SAVE the offenders and victims!

[Jesus is Speaking:]  The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord (Luke 4:18-19).  [Emphasis Added]

THE FRUIT OF ADULTERY IS ROTTEN!

The Loss of Trust—Trust is a foundational element upon which marriage is built.  Once betrayed, trust is very hard to rebuild, if at all;

Shattered Personalities—Wounds and Scars of the SPIRIT and SOUL— Once adultery is committed, a death of sorts occurs, accompanied by the usual gamut of raw emotions like anger, anxiety, betrayal, bitterness, depression, fear, guilt, inadequacy, insecurity, low self-esteem, and resentment.  The marriage may survive, but it will never be the same.  Emotional effects can cause arthritis (Proverbs 12:4), cancer and premature death;

Physical Repercussions—Include illegitimate births and abortions and life-threatening, sexually transmitted diseases like Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) and the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV);

Divorce—hurts immediate and extended family members, especially children and grandchildren, regardless of age.  Their cries of distress are the loudest and most heart-wrenching!

Their future is complicated and marked by life-long wounds and scars;

They are cheated of their childhood;

They are cheated of their sense of security;

They can exhibit any of the following symptoms of heightened anxiety:

Bedwetting; Clinging; Fire-Setting; Night Terrors; Temper Tantrums; Thumb-Sucking.

They suffer from neglect as their adulterous parent focuses on an outsider.

Generational Curses Continue—Children learn behavior from their parents.  For example, King David’s children followed in his footsteps.  Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-14).  Absolom took his fathers’ concubines unto himself (2 Samuel 16:22).  Sexual immorality has a way of filtering down to the children.  One’s spiritual influence is also compromised when we stoop to committing adultery.  Children lose respect for the offending parent.

Destroyed Marriage Covenants—Adulterers are covenant breakers!  The wedding vow is a covenant between the man, the woman, and God.  The man and woman vow their faithfulness to each other and promise to “forsake all others” as long as they both shall live.  Adulterers break this promise and are therefore liars.  They have lied to their spouse and to God.  They lied to their friends who stood up with them at their wedding and who served as legal witnesses.  They usually end up lying to their children as well.

Destroyed Family Unit.  Separation and Divorce split the family unit.

Destroyed Reputations—Within the secular arena and inside the Church.

Church Splits—When a preacher or member of church leadership commits adultery, it affects every member of the congregation where they have labored.  Due to the scandal, many leave the church and go elsewhere;

Damaged Spouse—When a spouse cheats, he sends a message to his mate that says, “You weren’t good enough for me.”  Adultery has the power to destroy the self-esteem of the innocent victim;

Damaged Self—When a Believer commits adultery, he is in a backslidden condition.  The sin he is committing may be pleasurable for a season (Hebrews 11:25); nevertheless, he will pay a terrible price for crossing the line of propriety (Proverbs 6:26-29; 32-33).  In addition to his personal witness, testimony and ministry being destroyed, his sin tarnishes the name of the church he attends;

Damaged Society—What happens to the family ultimately spills over and affects society.  Every great empire that has fallen has done so as the result of sexual immorality.  Will America be next?  Adultery is such a sin against society that G. Campbell Morgan said, “The adulterer is the enemy of the state.  My personal persuasion is that it is an act of treason to the state to allow adulterers and adulteresses to go free and unpunished.  The greatness of a people depends upon the purity and strength of the people and in every nation where the marriage relation is violated with impunity the virus of death is surely and certainly at work;”

Damaging the Image of Jesus Christ & the Credibility of His Gospel—This is the greatest reason why a Believer should not commit adultery!  The desire of every Believer should be to please the Lord in word and deed.  When a Believer commits adultery, the cause of Christ is hindered and the Name of Jesus is dragged down.  The duty of every Believer is to be sexually pure.

Changes the Interactions Between People—Adultery lowers the quality and purity of relationships.  The bad fruit of adultery produces bad seed that continues to produce grief in everyone who is troubled by the act, especially the children of future generations;

Keeping a Believer Out of the Kingdom of God—In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, the Apostle Paul lists sins that, if continued in without confession and repentance, will prevent the offender from entering God’s Kingdom.  Included is the SIN OF ADULTERY.  From the beginning, God knew the devastating effects that adultery has on individuals and families.  He wanted to protect us from that heartbreak and since He does not change (Malachi 3:6), He feels the same way today!

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

SAFE-GUARDING AGAINST ADULTERY

Communication in marriage is a preventive tool.  Talk to your spouse rather than gravitate to someone else who does not belong to you.  If you are experiencing problems in your marriage, seek counseling before the problem escalates.  Once adultery is committed, the harm is irreversibly done, and it takes a lot of time and effort for the victims to heal.  This is why prevention is so important!  The best way to prevent adultery is to be aware of when the first subtle stage begins.  For example, consider the temptations that are present when you are working in an office for long hours with someone who is attractive and meets your needs.  If the matter of your weaknesses and vulnerability are not addressed, this situation can lead to emotional dependence.  Avoid even going to lunch with a married person that you are attracted to, and don't exchange personal emails.  If that person starts sharing intimate details of unhappiness at home, don't offer a shoulder to cry on.  Tactfully, let him/her know that you will pray for them then disengage and walk away.  If the person persists in bonding with you on an emotional, non-professional level, do not hesitate to draw the boundary lines and do it with boldness and firmness.  It is far better that you CONFRONT TEMPTATION and stop it in its tracks rather than mollycoddle it and allow it to suck you in and under!

CLASSIC SIGNS THAT A SPOUSE

MAY BE COMMITTING ADULTERY

Change in Appearance (hairstyle; hair color; makeup; uncharacteristically dressing in trendy suits or sexy dresses, changing cologne or perfume or wearing it for the first time; dieting or working out to lose weight, etc.).  If these behaviors are completely out of character for your spouse, he/she is trying hard to impress someone other than you or the boss;

Change in Attitude, Behavior, Character and Personality.  For example, a moody, withdrawn couch potato husband suddenly forsakes the couch and T.V. and is more enthusiastic, alive, happy and energetic about life and living.  Where he previously avoided office parties and events, he is now constantly attending them “for his career’s sake.”  Or, he suddenly takes up and becomes obsessed with a new hobby or sport that keeps him away from home.  Or, he begins to “work late” or takes more frequent “business trips.”  He is also more kind and loving towards you to the extent that he may buy you expensive gifts and shower you with surprises, which, until now, has not been his natural character;

Change in the Emotional Quality of Your Relationship.  A once warm and loving partner becomes self-absorbed, cold and distant.  He no longer initiates conversation with you or offers to take you to dinner or to a movie.  When you share life-related concerns and worries with him, he appears emotionally detached.  When you try to be affectionate with him, he rejects your advances;

Change in Mood.  Your easy-going husband suddenly has a chip on his shoulder.  He picks fights with you.  He initiates arguments that end up with him leaving the house.  He’s extremely angry.  Anger and criticism that borders on cruelty is hard to take for all of us.  Your partner may treat you with rudeness or impatience.  He may be more controlling and more critical than usual.  You may sense an increase in the degree of unhappiness in your spouse that is difficult to understand.  With some partners, you may actually see an increase in happiness as a result of being involved in an affair.  He’s overly defensive.  Defensiveness exists for many reasons.  In the past, were you able to discuss issues openly and calmly?  What you are looking for here is an increase in the normal amount of defensiveness;

Personal Items Come Up Missing.  What has become of your husband’s travel shaving kit?  What has happened to his extra pair of pajamas?  Why is his underwear drawer suddenly half full?  Why is a certain suit, dress shirt and tie missing from the marital closet?;

Change in Privacy Attitude.  Your husband suddenly becomes more secretive.  Where he once welcomed your interest in how his day was spent, he suddenly resents your probing questions.  He resents the fact that you want to know his whereabouts or who he's talking to on the phone.  He begins to retreat to other rooms when the phone rings.  He guards his cell phone as though his life depends on it, putting it by his bedside and taking it in the shower with him.  He may turn it off when you’re together.  He may forbid you from touching or using it. To ensure that you won’t find incriminating evidence on the device, he deletes the text history.  He may even password-protect his cell phone and, suddenly MULTIPLE, email account(s);

Opening New Credit Cards, Bank Accounts and Post Office Box in His Name.  This is a sure sign that he’s spending money on his new flame, especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only;

Loses Interest in Sexual Intimacy With You.  He may not reject you, but he'll go along with your rejections where he may have previously fought them.  Now it's like, “Sure, let's watch a movie instead.  Noooo problem;”

Becomes Critical & Overbearing.  Nothing you do or say pleases him anymore;

Frequently References the Same Woman In Conversation;

Suggests Separate Holidays.  He wants to travel with his mistress, or he wants you out of town;

Avoiding Family, Friends or Other Social Events.  When an affair is going on, time spent with friends and family wanes;

Time Spent Away from Home Increases in Frequency and Duration.  Time working over; evenings supposedly spent with the guys; time spent on business trips, impromptu overnight absences, etc.;

The Desire for Less “We Time” and More “Me Time.”  Your once-attentive spouse suddenly loses interest in spending quality time alone with you and demands more alone time for himself;

Being Caught Telling Lies;

The Discovery of Receipts for Unknown Purchases (women’s clothing, jewelry, perfume, etc.)  When questioned about the purchase, he may explain that the purchases were for a grown daughter, etc.

MY COUNSEL TO UNBELIEVERS

& BACKSLIDDEN CHRISTIANS

WHO ARE (OR HAVE BEEN) INVOLVED IN ADULTERY

I have GOOD NEWS and WORDS OF HOPE for you!  You do NOT have to remain a captive slave of Satan!  JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD, who is the same yesterday, today and forever, desires to SAVE, DELIVER and HEAL you (Hebrews 13:8)!  He wants to give you “a new heart and a new spirit” (Ezekiel 36:26).  He wants to make you a new creature and give you a new future to replace your hurtful past (2 Corinthians 5:17).  He wants to heal the innermost wounds of your SOUL (Psalms 147:3; Isaiah 53:5; Luke 4:18).

If you believe that your sins are too evil to be forgiven, Satan is lying to you!  The truth is, “no one is righteous” (Romans 3:10) … and “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).”  Jesus has the power to forgive and save sinners from the guttermost to the uttermost!  

Consider the story of King David who was called a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22) and yet he committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite (2 Samuel 11:1).  Nathan, David’s beloved friend, confronted David about his sin.  David’s heart was broken when he realized how he had sinned against God and grieved God’s heart.  David repented, asked for God’s forgiveness, and was forgiven (2 Samuel 12:1-15).

Today, God offers that same forgiveness to sinners.  When one comes to faith in Jesus Christ, by confessing and repenting of his or her sin, God is faithful to remove the guilt, shame, and future penalty that sin carried with it.  By committing one’s life to Christ, a person becomes a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), no longer helpless to resist temptation, but empowered by the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Whether the sin is adultery or something else, Jesus Christ has paid the price for our forgiveness by His death, burial, and resurrection.  No one has sinned too badly, too much or too long to be forgiven.  The offer of salvation is for everyone (John 3:16) who is willing to confess and repent of his/her sins, invite Jesus Christ into his/her heart, and make Him Savior and Lord of his/her life.

Jesus did His part over 2,000 years ago.  Today, if you decide to BE SET FREE of adultery and to have ALL OF YOUR SINS FORGIVEN AND CLEANSED, you have an important part to play in your Salvation (in the case of an Unbeliever) or Re-Dedication (in the case of a backslidden Christian):

You must want to be Saved, Delivered and Healed;

Get alone with God and Humble yourself before Him;

Acknowledge your need for Salvation and Deliverance through Jesus Christ;

Confess Your Sins;

Express sincere remorse for having sinned and ask God to forgive you;

Denounce Satan and his works;

Forgive yourself and everyone who has ever wronged you;

Invite Jesus Christ into your heart and ask Him to be your Savior and Lord;

Keep your deliverance and freedom by 1) attending a Christ-centered church where the uncompromised Word of God is preached and taught.  It is important that you seek the fellowship and support of other Christians because you will benefit greatly from their unconditional love, encouragement, support and spiritual strength.  If possible, seek out Christians who have walked in your shoes; 2) sever every ungodly relationship, and 3) NEVER RE-ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH FORMER SEXUAL PARTNERS!

Set aside time every day to read The Bible and to talk to God;

Submit yourself to God and do your best to obey His Word;

Resist the devil when temptation arises and he will flee from you (James 4:7);

Wherefore let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

For we have not a high priest [Jesus Christ] which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15).  [Emphasis Added)

The Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished (2 Peter 2:9);

Ask The Holy Spirit to comfort, guide and teach you (John 14:26; 16:13);

NEVER, EVER DOUBT your Salvation and Deliverance!

MY COUNSEL TO BELIEVERS:

HOW TO AVOID ADULTERY

God has given us many spiritual weapons of warfare that we need to use!

Submit yourself to God and Obey His Word.  Consecration, Submission and Obedience are keys that ensure VICTORY when we engage in spiritual warfare against the enemy!  They also position us to benefit from the power of God’s Favor, Mercy, Grace, Protection, Provision and His Word when we use The Word of God as a weapon like Jesus did (Matthew 4:1-11);

Be Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might, Not Yours! (Ephesians 6:10)  When King David was a child, he slew a giant.  Then God chose him to be the second king of Israel.  The Bible also says that David was a mighty warrior (1 Samuel 18:7-8).  However, David still succumbed to the fleshly temptation of LUST.  LUST IS A POWERFUL DEMON SPIRIT and, in the natural (physical) realm, you and I are no match for it.  But, thanks to Jesus Christ who destroyed the works of the devil (1 John 3:8; Colossians 2:15), we as Believers have been given “power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt us (Luke 10:19)!”

Put on the Whole Armor of God EVERYDAY! (Ephesians 6:11-17).  God has given us spiritual armor, but what good does it do if we fail to put it on!;

Resist & Confront Temptation and Satan Will Flee! (James 4:7).  Satan is NOT the least bit impressed by how long you have been serving the Lord or by labels and titles attached to your name!  He is only interested in knowing your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, so he can plan his strategy and execute a successful attack against you.  Therefore, we must never adopt the attitude or mindset that we have reached a station in life, or a spiritual condition, where we can no longer be tempted to sin.  Just when you think you are standing strong and are invincible, is when Satan attacks, so take heed, lest you fall! (1 Corinthians 10:12);

Do Not Give Place to the Devil! (Ephesians 4:27).  Do not give Satan any information that he can use against you!  Do not let him know your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  Remember, he has “spy” demons watching everything you do and listening to every word you speak.  Are you speaking words of doubt, fear and unbelief that he can latch onto and use against you?  Or, are you speaking words of faith and courage?  What message are you sending to Satan?  Are you letting him know that you are a formidable and dreaded enemy, or are you telling him that you are a spiritual weakling and wimp?  Demons are malevolent and invisible “data gatherers.”  When they have something on you, they report back to Satan, who then plans a strategy of attack against you, always targeting areas of weakness and vulnerability in your life.

Stay in the Will of God!  2 Samuel 11:1 says that it was, “the time when kings go forth to battle.”  However, where was David?  He decided to stay behind.  Regardless of his reasons, he was not where he was supposed to be.  He got out of the Will of God.  Instead of being with his men in battle as was customary and appropriate, David was indulging in some inappropriate leisure time activity.  Many times, we are most vulnerable to temptation when we have strayed out of God’s will;

Stay in Close Fellowship with God!  It is during intimate times of fellowship with the Holy Spirit that we draw from His strength in times of weakness.  It is The Holy Spirit and The Word of God that strengthen us to resist temptation!   Brothers and Sisters, we are engaged in spiritual warfare!  We cannot fight Satan and his minions in our own ability and strength because they are spirit beings that dwell in the spirit realm;

Guard Your “EYE” and “EAR” Gates!  King David failed to do this!  As he idly strolled around his roof, he saw a woman named Bathsheba bathing.  Instead of immediately turning away, fleeing sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), and seeking the face of God, David lingered and allowed the DEMON SPIRIT OF LUST enter in and take possession of his heart.  Once LUST was in control, David acted to satisfy its demands by having sexual intercourse with Bathsheba, who became pregnant (2 Samuel 11:2-5).  If we entertain an evil thought (fiery dart) that Satan attacks our minds with, that lie will drop down into our SPIRIT (heart), where it will take root, flourish and produce bad fruit until the root is plucked up and the mental stronghold is destroyed by the Anointing which destroys every yoke of bondage (Isaiah 10:27);

Discipline and Guard Your Thought Life!  “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).”  As soon as Satan plants a sinful thought in your mind, take authority over it in Jesus’ Name!  Immediately, launch a counter attack against his lie(s) by confessing The Word of God, just like Jesus did when Satan tempted Him (Matthew 4:1-11).  To use this weapon effectively, you must memorize Scripture, or at least know what The Bible says.  This sends a strong message to Satan that you know The Bible!  He will be less likely to successfully deceive you when you are armed with knowledge (Hosea 4:6)!

Listen to and Obey the Voice of The Holy Spirit!  When you come face-to-face with temptation, the Holy Spirit will let you know that you are in danger of being deceived or trapped!  This is why it is imperative that you find and make time everyday to commune with The Holy Spirit!  As long as you stay in tune with the Holy Spirit, He will ALERT YOU!  He will even WARN YOU ahead of time of a pending attack by giving you a night dream or an open vision, which is how He deals with me.  In addition, when I come in the presence of evil, the Holy Spirit will cause little “red flags” to begin waving in my SPIRIT!  PAYING ATTENTION TO THESE WARNINGS WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!

Pray Every Day!  If you do not have a heavenly prayer language, pray with the understanding, or in your known language.  In the Name of Jesus, take authority over and break the power of every assignment of the enemy that is targeting you!  In the Name of Jesus, forbid and bind demon spirits from attacking your mind, health, finances, job, family, relationships, etc.  In the Name of Jesus and by speaking The Word of God, loose God’s angels to thwart every assignment of the enemy.  “…and whatsoever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven (Matthew 16:19).”

If you have a heavenly prayer language, exercise this gift and weapon!  Speaking in tongues is a powerful spiritual weapon because Satan does not know what you are saying when you pray in tongues.  He fears the gift of tongues because he reaps the devastating effects of Holy Spirit empowered prayer!  In addition, praying in tongues is like any muscle in your body.  In order to strengthen a muscle, you have to exercise it!  When you pray in tongues on a daily basis, you are not speaking to yourself or to anyone else.  You are building up your inner man (SPIRIT) (Jude 1:20 and your SPIRIT is speaking mysteries to God (1 Corinthians 14:2).  In addition, The Holy Spirit is helping you pray the perfect prayer for your circumstances and situations! (Romans 8:26)

Be Sober and Vigilant! “because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8)!”

When You Sin, Repent Immediately!  David tried to cover his sin by bringing Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, back from the battlefield.  David hoped that Bathsheba and Uriah would sleep together and everyone would believe their marital reunion resulted in Bathsheba’s pregnancy.  However, Uriah refused to lay with Bathsheba while the other soldiers remained on the battlefield.  In this case, Uriah (a simple soldier) had stronger morals than King David.

Although David could have confessed his sin and repented at this point, Satan influenced him to try yet another cover up.  David had Uriah sent back into battle, placed on the front lines, and then abandoned to face death at the hands of the enemy!  King David had Bathsheba’s husband murdered to hide his own sin!  An important lesson to be learned from this is that one sin leads to another and oftentimes to a worse sin, if the sinner does not confess to God and repent of the original sin.  In King David’s case, he was initially attacked by a SPIRIT OF LUST because David coveted Bathsheba and did not guard his EYE gates.  Then, David was attacked by a DECEIVING SPIRIT.  Finally, a SPIRIT OF MURDER attacked him.  David may have not committed an act of murder, but he was nonetheless guilty of murder!  All of these demonic assignments against David prospered and brought forth the intended rotten fruit.

Tragically, many in the Body of Christ believe that adultery is strictly and only a sinful sexual act.  In so doing, they completely fail to perceive the true significance of God’s teachings in the Scriptures.  The idea consistent throughout is that adultery is unfaithfulness to a covenant relationship, an unfaithfulness that may manifest itself in any number of ways, but which inevitably leads, if not corrected, to the breakdown of the relationship between man and wife, and their marriage covenant with God.  May the Lord help us to stay focused on our covenant relationships because the cost for doing otherwise is much too high!

In closing, this teaching has been a labor of love because I was once a victim of marital infidelity.  Since I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end, I sincerely hope that this teaching helps other victims who are experiencing the emotional trauma of this devastating sin.

Blessings!

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURES

PERTAINING TO THIS TEACHING

And the man that commits adultery with another man's wife, even he that commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death (Leviticus 20:10).

But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart (Matthew 5:28).

Jesus went unto the Mount of Olives. And early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came unto Him; and He sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto Him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto Him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what say You? This they said, tempting Him, that they might have to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground, as though He heard them not. So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, he that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those your accusers? has no man condemned you? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn you: go, and sin no more (John 8:1-11).

[Jesus is speaking]: For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels (Mark 8:36-38). [Emphasis Added]

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was (2 Timothy 3:1-9).